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Monday, June 27, 2011

I did it again.

Normally I am very diligent in not overdoing it. I choose to monitor my activity level very close so I don't have to use narcotics to manage my pain. I have done that in the past and it was not pretty. When I was helping take care of my Mama those four years, there was just no way to do it without pain pills. I had to push myself harder, farther than my body could go and I would do it all over again.  It was a blessing to be able to take care of her, I have precious memories that will be with me for ever.

But once she was gone I knew I could not continue that way. Your body adapts to things like Vicodin, it takes more and more to make the pain go away and at the same time I was  destroying what it left  of my body by continuing to abuse and overuse it.  I made the decision I would  consciously decide if an activity was worth the pain it would cause and I have been doing a pretty good job of it.

But I am a stubborn person and on occasion when I want something, I want something. ( that happens to everyone every once  in awhile, doesn't it?). Yesterday I wanted to put some plants in back along the house and then put a stone border around it and yesterday was RACE day.  Nothing happens while the NASCAR RACE is on in our house, that's just the way it is. And I didn't want to wait so....

Long story short I suffered all night and I am suffering today. I shouldn't have done it, I should have waited for J, but I couldn't and I didn't.  And to top it off, I didn't get it finished, I need 10 more stones to finish it. So now, since I can barely walk, I have to wait for J to do it anyway.  Guess it is a lesson I need to relearn every now and then.

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. Theodore Roosevelt


  1. I am new to pain. I just had a serious flare-up of pseudo gout and have hardly been able to walk for the last month. I'm taking pain pills but they're not narcotics and yet, I still worry about taking them.
    Well, at least you got most of the work done. How fun it must be to travel in a RV.

  2. I am so sorry about your pain - heaven knows I understand the unfairness of having to bargain with ourselves to have the strength to do what we want/what we need to do. I look at others who so freely take for granted their health, their energy, their ability and wonder why, when I was always so damned active? And then I remember that I am blessed, still. I am grateful what I can do...even though it's so much less that I want. I handle better than most probably would, so I believe that is part of it. I hope by this evening you are feeling much better. Hugs, new friend! J.

  3. Joyce, I didn't know you suffered with this...not once has it come through your writing since I started reading. You are a smart woman...the pills are a slippery slope...I have been thinking about doing a post on this very thing.