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Monday, July 23, 2012

Happy Birthday to me...



Today is my birthday, I am sixty three years old.  I have everything most people would want at this age,   reasonably good health, reasonable financial  security, a loving husband of 41 years and a loving extended family. 

 I know today I should be happy, but I just can't pull it off.

For the first time in over ten plus years I won't be with my best friend celebrating our birthday's. 
Judy's birthday was August second and we always, no matter what obstacles we had to overcome got together for our birthdays. It always seem to work out that we spent our time together on my birthday 

This year Judy is spending our birthdays in heaven.  For so long after she died I was angry, angry at God, angry at her ( she knew how sick she was out last time together, but didn't tell me). But now I am just sad, so incredibly sad. 

I miss her so, we were each others "go to girls" if anything made us mad we called the other one, if anything made us happy we called the other one, if anything made us sad we called the other one.  Now I don't have her to call, when I am oh so sad.

I remember that last time we hugged each other good bye, she hugged me so tight and whispered in my ear, "I love you girlfriend" and I whispered back " I love you to girlfriend". I still remember the tightness of that hug and all that it conveyed.  I never dreamed it would be out last.

If you still have your best friend, give them a call, give them a hug, tell them you love them, it can all be over so fast, in a blink of an eye.

I love you dear girlfriend and miss you oh so much.


went home to Jesus 9-9-11



written by Joyce Gray at 6:46 AM

12 comments:

  1. ain't for city galsJuly 23, 2012 at 9:20 AM

    I know I can't take the place of Judy but you know what?....I love you, girlfriend...I really do!!! Happy Birthday to you!...Honor Judy's life by having the best birthday possible...xoxo

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    Replies
    1. Joyce GrayJuly 23, 2012 at 1:51 PM

      Thanks so much friend. I am going to try to do that.

      Delete
  2. Rubye JackJuly 23, 2012 at 3:05 PM

    I'll be 65 on Wednesday and a couple of weeks ago found out my last husband has died. I've been marrying three times and all three are now gone - so I totally understand what you're saying here Joyce. Meanwhile, yes, all our old friends would want us to carry on and live the best life possible.

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    Replies
    1. Joyce GrayJuly 24, 2012 at 7:37 PM

      Thanks Rubye Jack, doesn't it seem we are to young to be losing all the people?

      Delete
  3. LouiseJuly 23, 2012 at 9:20 PM

    I can't take away the pain or sadness, but I can assure you that I am always there for you. I love you very much!

    ReplyDelete
  4. JoaniJuly 24, 2012 at 7:23 AM

    Happy belated birthday. I am so sorry about your best girlfriend. They are few & far. I still have mine and she lives in Reno. I don't see her as often as I'd like but we talk at least monthly and am always emailing. Thank goodness for technology. I won't fly so if we see each other she usually flies here to Phoenix. I hope that you took this opportunity to go and do something nice for someone else and that that would make the day special. Buy a person a meal who is eating alone at a restaurant. Pay for someones groceries who is ahead of you in line. Just do something you would never have thought to do. You'll be surprised at how good it makes you feel. Love & hugs.
    Joani

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    Replies
    1. Joyce GrayJuly 24, 2012 at 7:39 PM

      Thanks Joani, had a lovely dinner with my sisters.

      Delete
  5. BiancaJuly 24, 2012 at 1:46 PM

    Bit late, but still, happy birthday.
    Must be very hard for you, "celebrating" when you lost your best friend and understandable, it's so recent she is gone.
    Nonetheless, I'm a bit envious of your friendship. I never had a best friend like that. Would love to have one though.
    Well, take care, hang in there and remember the good times you've had.
    Hug, Bianca

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    Replies
    1. Joyce GrayJuly 24, 2012 at 7:38 PM

      Thanks Bianca, we were best friends for 27 years and I am at a bit of a loss without her.

      Delete
  6. red.neck chicJuly 27, 2012 at 9:07 AM

    Oh Joyce... I am so sorry. My heart is hurting along with yours... but do know that she is with you - always.

    Happy Birthday late... I'm sending you all of my Texas hugs...

    Robelyn

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  7. Chatty CroneJuly 28, 2012 at 12:16 PM

    I lost two of my best friends too and it still hurts. So I know your heart hurts. I am sooooooooooooooooo sorry. It stinks.

    But I do wish you a very happy birdbath.

    sandie

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